Stranger in a strange land
This time of year our engineering group spends a lot of time in the classroom updating our technical expertise and learning new things. Every time one of our engineers achieves a new level of technical certification or expertise, we celebrate. What few outsiders realize is that the tech industry is run by a secret cabal of old timers (I am not eligible yet) who have a unique way of celebrating a new engineers first major technical certification.
About a week after achieving certification the new engineer receives in the mail a box of books. These are “The Great Books”. They are the greats of Science Fiction and Fantasy literature, mandatory for all geeks to read and absorb. Thus the new engineer is indoctrinated into the world of the geek. I like Sci-Fi books and movies, but I draw the line at Science Silliness.
I am referring to a series of commercials I have seen on televised golf matches over the years that make me laugh out loud. I guess they are funny, but it is the underlying technology message that I find so laughable. Messages on commercial TV are for the masses, and in the case of golf, an affluent mass (present company excluded). So, I realize that general statements will be made. A commercial for technology on TV will not be like an ad in a trade publication. Hyperbole rules.
The message from the series of TV commercials is that servers in a data center manufactured by Acme Computer Company (name changed to protect the silly) can be…are you ready for this…SELF HEALING.
Now, anytime a geek CAPITALIZES a WORD in an e-mail or BLOG, you KNOW IT IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. PAY ATTENTION! The idea of SELF HEALING servers is something that could only have been developed by Skynet. In which it case it will be destroyed by Sarah Connor’s unborn son. And yes, I also believe in causal loops, artificial intelligence and time travel.
The problem with SELF HEALING servers (aside from their non-existence) is the complexity of today’s data center. When I read the man pages for the SELF HEALING servers I get a very different view of the capabilities. Monitoring tools are pretty good now. We can push patches and new versions automatically. You can get automatic alerts when a component piece is ready to fail, but get real…SELF HEALING? I broke the cup holder off on a server at a customer site once. Believe me, it did not heal itself. I have never seen a new disk drive materialize out of thin air. That would be SELF HEALING and I would be VERY IMPRESSED.
Just for fun, if you have installed SELF HEALING servers in your data center and your boss asks you to configure your monitoring software so you can receive e-mails at 2:30 in the morning…tell your boss that will not be necessary. Cyborg’s have perfected the ability to HEAL your server without human intervention. Then get in your jeep, grab your tape recorder and head for Mexico. A storm is coming.
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